I think I have the swine flu, what do I do?
**UPDATE** (9:15am)
I am now puking once every hour or so, I’m burning up with a temperature of 112 degrees. These things wouldn’t be so bad but I also have blood pouring from my eyeballs and rectum as well. My lymph nodes have grown to the size of grapefruit and I have boils covering around 70% of my body. I’ll keep everyone updated.
This is terrible considering I’ve caught the bird flu, got sick on peanuts, ate Tylenol laced with arsenic, had asbestos exposure, got sick from Chinese kid’s toys with toxic plastic and had reactions to the tomato scare a few months back! Also I was shot in the arm by the DC snipers AND ingested Anthrax when I opened a greasy package two years ago.
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHEN WILL IT END?!?!!?
Just trying to make a few folks smile on a Monday! All we hear is bad news lately and I’m just making lite of it. Have a great day folks! Someone is gonna get 10 points regardless.
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7 comments
nesli k on May 23, 2010 at 2:02 pm
You really should count your blessings…at least you haven’t been attacked by Somali Pirates.
Rosemary on May 23, 2010 at 2:02 pm
Go to your doctor or ring him up and tell him you problem over the phone.
^-^hey^-^ on May 23, 2010 at 2:02 pm
Go to the doctor. Wear a mask so you won’t spread it to other people.
Toxic Kitty on May 23, 2010 at 2:02 pm
Troll alert or are you a memeber of the CIA????
♥♥ ι ♥ gαвяιєℓ αηтσηισ ♥♥ on May 23, 2010 at 2:02 pm
Oh wow. This doesnt sound like the Swine Flu, but u might wanna go to ur doctor.. or even better, the Hospital.
Austin W on May 23, 2010 at 2:02 pm
i think your an idiot, this isn’t swine flu, this is some weird strand of a disease most commonly known as free time.
Kaz on May 23, 2010 at 2:02 pm
You must be a mailman ! Go to your Boss and ask for a raise!
Kaz